A Broken Generation

Hi friends! Welcome back to another blog post! I hope your day is going great just like you! Today's blog post is something that I am very passionate about. I feel like over the years I have been one to give relationship advice but suck at applying it in my life, until recently. You might want to grab some refreshments and get comfortable because this is going to be one of my longer blog posts! Before I begin I want to say how loved and wanted you are! God created you for an amazing purpose and has given you so many amazing gifts! I pray that you would use them to bring glory to God and to bring joy into your heart! I love you and think you are amazing! Here we go!!

Social Media is a great tool to use. It's easier to keep in contact with your friends, your family, and others around the world. Over the course of time, it has become a place of pain and hurt causing insecurities or hate. Today I saw a video on Tik Tok of people acting out a scenario of a girl sleeping with another guy. The boyfriend walks in and things take a wild turn. Another example, is an ex boyfriend in an elevator and the ex girlfriend walks in with her new boyfriend. The ex boyfriend says something flirty to her and the boyfriend walks out. With this being said I understand this is a way for people to get views and to get likes. On the other hand, this does not make it okay. We are promoting broken relationships as well as toxic relationships. Making Tik Toks or Instagram posts about how every guy is dirty, a cheater, or a user isn't okay. Today I feel broken and toxic relationships are becoming normal causing later on broken and toxic marriages that end in divorce.

What is a relationship? What does it really mean to love someone? How can you trust someone when the last relationship caused so much pain? Relationships like I said a while back is a bond between two or more people. This bond doesn't have to be romantic. Friendships and intimate relationships are beautiful things. We are not meant to live life alone. We are supposed to have meaningful relationships that have purpose. What a relationship requires first is communication, trust, honesty, and friendship. How are we supposed to know the elements of a relationship if we first don't have a relationship with God? God gives us a perfect example of what a true relationship looks like. For me personally, He has shown me how to trust. He has shown me that he is faithful. He has shown me that I am beautiful and worthy of love despite my mistakes. He has shown me true patience and true kindness. He has shown me so much joy. He has given me an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on during difficult seasons of my life. These elements are essential in an earthly relationship as well. The things God has shown me are things I want to reciprocate to my future spouse. The things that are portrayed on Netflix or TV are fake. They aren't what relationships are. We can't fictionalize our relationships. These are real people, not characters.

To really love someone is to first love God. Love is pure, patient, and kind. It is committing to that person no matter how difficult things get. That's the problem in the world. People do great in the honeymoon phase but when that's over, things start getting real and it's not easy anymore. It gets hard and people tend to leave because they don't want to put in the work. They want things to be easy whether it's their job, school, or relationships. These people get what they can and when they don't get it, they leave. It's true. It's happened to me. Love doesn't keep account of wrongs. There are so many things that I have done wrong in my life. God has casted out all the sin that I have committed as far as the east is from the west. He doesn't remember them. That's how we should be with our friends and our significant other. Of course you can't let them walk all over you. You have to have respect, communication, and understanding. It's like when you sin and you know it's wrong but you know you can use God's grace as a get out of jail free card. That's not true repentance. God doesn't let us get away with it. He begins to take away from us to get our attention that what we are doing is not okay. It's not okay to use that card when you keep repeating the same crime. Love is recognizing our mistakes and confronting them and repenting as well as the other person forgiving. Love is having respect for yourself and the other person. We can't do things that will potentially hurt the other person or do something the person wouldn't want us to do. Love is a lot of things and is very beautiful with the right person.

How can you trust someone after being burned by someone you thought was the "one?" I want to tell you that taking time to really heal is essential. Giving it to God is the best thing you can do in times of hurt, pain, and despair. I found myself at the lowest place in my life. I turned to God because He was all I had at the time. I recommitted myself back to Him and He blessed me with an amazing person. I was very heart broken and told him I needed time to heal. He respected that and we didn't talk for 3 months. During that time, God restored everything back to me that was taken away. It was hard, it took a lot of hard work but God knew I could do it. I reached back out because I was in a better place but still had insecurities, doubts, and trust issues. I remember not allowing him to even hold my hand because I was not ready for that yet. He respected that and didn't hold my hand , hug, or kiss me unless I initiated contact first. He left for 2 months to go back home, and that was another period of time for me to grow and heal. I didn't rush myself or put pressure on myself but respected myself and my boundaries until I knew I was ready. We talked all summer and I felt myself slowly let down my guard. He gave me no reason to not trust him. He was supportive and encouraging to me. He brings me close to God each day. He builds me up and loves me for who I am. At first, I thought it was just all talk because I always had someone tell me the same things but never act on what they say. One thing you can't do is expect the same things that happened with one person to happen again with a different person. When he came back, he acted on what he said. That gave me assurance that I can trust him and allow myself to let my guard down. We have grown together so much and I finally feel free of what had happened in the past. Give yourself time to heal, to grow, and to find yourself. The person you want will come when you least expect it. The person you need will be someone you never thought you would end up falling for. It won't be butterflies, it will be much more. Your heart and mind will line up and there will be peace.

To conclude, relationships are meant to help us on our journey in life. They are meant to help us when we fall. They are to be selfless and pure. Each person should have each other's best interest at heart. To have respect, boundaries, communication, honesty, and trust. To have a firm foundation and to focus on God and doing what pleases Him. I love you and find you very special. You deserve the best and will continue to pray over you! <3